Mayan Mystery Solved

This is the picture of the Mayan Calender.

You know, the one that says that we are all going to die on 12-21-2012.  Now do you remember?  They made a movie out of it.  Okay, so, now we are on the same page.  I just wanted to let you all know, that I think that we will all be okay.  You see, there is something that Hollywood and all the TV shows and all of the press are not telling you and that is the real story behind the calender.  Because you can trust Toph, I will tell you the “REAL” story.

You see, a few years ago…okay maybe three thousand…there were these folks named the Maya.  They wanted to know what day, time and year it was.  Because, of course, they had appointments to keep, seasons to track and sacrifices to make.  So the council sacrificed a few folks to the gods and then decided that since the blood flowed left from the sacrifice, a committee should be formed and review all time and place theories.  You know, so they could make the folks pay more taxes and know when they were late.  That way, they could charge them more in penalties such as more grain or pigs or their first born.  Whatever the penalty would be.

So the Mayan Council put Meohmyoh in charge of the new calender system.  But they said that he had to finish in twelve moon cycles or he would be the first to submit to a Mayan audit.  That usually meant losing a few quarts of blood and a heart to the Mayan IRS Priests.  Not pleasant…

So Meohmyoh got busy.  He hired four of the best engravers he could find and told them to map out a thousand years on the calenders.  He said be precise.  “I am not losing a heart for your carelessness.”, he told them.  So they produced four-one thousand year calenders.  As they took them to be delivered to the council, the one with the last thousand year calender tripped over all of those damn steps that led to the top of the damned pyramids and the calender smashed into a thousand pieces.

“Damn it!” yelled Meohmyoh.   He told the calender maker to sweep up his mess and then go cut his heart out.  “But we will be short 1000 years!”, bemoans the soon to be heartless scribe. 

“Who cares!” says Meohmyoh.  “A whole new council we be elected by then.  GO!”  And they did. 

So as you can see, only three tablet-calenders instead of four were turned in to the Mayan Council.  They didn’t noticed and passed a budget based on three calenders.

Then the Spanish speaking people showed up and really screwed things up…