Salesmanship

I hate using real life events to make a point.  Wait a minute, who am I kidding…I LOVE using real life events to make a point.  As a matter of fact, I live for it.  There is nothing better than making real life points.

So what is the focus of all of this real life point spouting that I am doing, well allow me to tell you.

Now I do not have a degree in marketing.  I have never held a “sales job” in my life (Pepsi didn’t really count as sales).  I do not have a B.S., M.S., B.M.S.S. or any other group of letters on a piece of paper that says that I know better.  But I do have 25 years of experience at being a customer.  Not just any customer, but one with major buying power.  So I would think that after 25 years of being sold to, I know what makes a good sales presentation when I see one. 

Allow me to introduce you to Nick.  Why “Nick”?  Well, that is his name.  I do not remember his last name, thought that is not really important.  Now Nick, because that is his name, is a young man, maybe mid-twenties.  Nick is probably making a living on commissions. Bad news for Nick.  He is also selling advertising for the back of grocery receipts.  You know, the one’s that you leave in your plastic bags that will eventually end up in the trash, holding the garbage that was left over from your trip to the grocery.  More bad news for Nick.

As you can see, Nick has a few things already not going in his favor before even sitting down for an appointment with me.  But to totally sink any chance Nick may have had with me ended very quickly because of the errors in salesmanship judgement made by Nick.  So, Nick, because that is your name,  allow me to give you a few pointers in salesmanship.  Because, seriously, it doesn’t take rocket science for this.

• Please get out of your chair and shake my hand when I approach the table.  I know you had to wait a minute or two to meet me, but I did not leave you in a office waiting room here. 
• Tell me more than “I’m Nick” even if you are still sitting there in the chair.  Say, “Hi Mr. Meadows, I am Nick —-, whatever your last name is, and I am here from —-, whatever company you represent.”  No, really, that is important!
• Please, please, please, Nick, whatever else you may do, DO NOT answer your cell phone or even have it on when you are sitting with me trying to sell your product.  By doing this you just told me that I do not really matter to you.  And by the way, answering it twice is TWICE as bad. And that may be estimating it a little low.
• While I may appreciate the fact that you so not want to have your breath smell.  The actual time of the meeting is not the best of times to have a breath mint clicking around in your mouth.  I’m just saying here.
• Don’t be afraid to learn the material just a little better.  While it may be impressive that you can give the company line with just the right emphasis on the right word, just as the company trained you to do, it is not very impressive when you back up and do it again after I interrupted you with a question while using that as an answer to my question.  That is very annoying.
• Do not tell me that we can <wink><wink> work with the prices before you even hand me the papaer that tells me the prices.  By doing so, not only do you insult me, but you also tell me that no one really likes your full price and you are begging me before I even know you should beg.  End of sales meeting.

I do have to give Nick, because that is his name, some credit at this point.   Mainly, because this had to be the most practiced part of his whole sales schtick.  He did get right up to leave when I told him, albeit rather abrupt like, that I was not interested.  You could tell that he has heard that line a few times before.  Atta boy Nick, you did one thing right.

I also know that Nick, because that is his name, is probably out with some one who cares about him about right now and Nick is telling that person about his day and all of the assholes he had to deal with today.  I know I am one of those assholes, Nick.  But dude, seriously, it isn’t that hard!

And I know that Nick will never read this blog.  To bad.  It could really help Nick, because that is your name.  Best of luck to you, Nick.  You are going to need it.