I Have Failed

I had the chance.  I had the opportunity.  It was right there.  All I had to do is reach out and grasp it.  But I let it slip right through my fingers.

What am I talking about?  Being the parent of a teenage daughter, rule number one is to embarrass her as often as I can, yet I failed at that.  I just couldn’t do it.

I was charged at picking up my lovely daughter after school last week.  I was also to drive her friend home as well.  I think that this is a good point of the story to mention that her friend is a male.  A boy.  A young lad.  Her “friend”.  I had him right there, with my undivided attention for the duration of the ride home.  All I had to do is reach out and touch someone, metaphorically speaking that is. 

But I didn’t.  I played it cool. 

Again, why?  When it was first announced that I was to pick her and her “lad” friend up, my daughter was horrified.  I mean she immediately began to beg and plead, “Anyone.  Please anyone, but him!  Please, oh please…”  Yea, I know.  Tugs right on the old heart strings, doesn’t it?

Well, in her defense, knowing me as well as she does, she had every reason to be afraid.  For one, I is a ‘Meadows”.  For another, for most of her life I have been scaring the be-Jesus out of her with my loud pronouncements of what I was going to do if I ever ran into her boyfriends.    I, of course began anew with the proclamations.  I made them loud and full of details, so I more than likely deserved the reaction that was served up by her.

After the initial shock wore off for her, she began a new tactic.  The “lad” was not her boyfriend.  He was just a good friend and there is now way she would ever date him or any other boy for that matter.  The Brown’s and the Indian’s would both win championships before she would date this boy.  Even I have to admit, that is going to be a long time.

Too late, my lovely lass, I am the chauffeur for the day and you are stuck.

BWA-HA-HA-HA-BWA-HA-HA

Of course I let the laugh hang out there.  It hung out there beating like a loud drum.  Reverberating from wall to wall, house to house and probably is still hanging in the atmosphere above Central Ohio. 

BWA-HA-HA

The day arrived and I made sure that I was punctual.  She walked out of the school building, head hung low.  Dead Girl Walking.  She stepped into the truck.  ”Where is the lad?” , I asked.  “He’s coming.”  And she looked at me one more time, with pleading eyes and then her head, slowly, began to hang anew.

And then the lad bounded into view and was full of energy.  He swung his back-pack into the bed of the truck and stepped into the cab with a smile.  I am pretty sure, my daughter had warned the lad of the impending doom that was about to befall him and he didn’t seem to have a clue!

“How are you, lad.  I am glad to meet you.”  says I to him. 

“Good, thank you.”  was his reply.

I then put the truck into gear and started to make our way out of the parking lot.  As we meandered our way through all of the cars and other students, my daughter slowly looked at me.  She starred me directly into my eyes.  It began to dawn on her that I wasn’t going to embarrass her.  It was not going to be the worst day of her life, ever.  I saw the sigh of relief pass over her face.  Her life, as she knows it, was not over yet.

As for the lad, he seemed oblivious.  He was just making some sort of white noise about the day at school. And as my daughter began to realize that I did not bring my civil war sword and that I was not going to quiz the lad unmercifully, she also began to spout forth white noise.  I just sat back and drove and watched the two interact on the drive home.

By the time we arrived at the lad’s house they were arguing like cats and dogs, like oil and water, like, like, boyfriend and girlfriend!

BWA-HA-HA-HA 

I had never intended on saying anything. The threat of embarrassment is often more effective then actually doing it.  And I know my women.  They can handle themselves.  And Beth stepped up to the plate and knocked it out of the park.  The lad never saw it coming!

BWA-HA-HA-HA

I love stories with happy endings!